PSA: I helped proof read the article. Still agree with it pretty much from top to bottom though, and it's worth reading.
I'm sorry to point that out, but the article is riddled with typos. And while I like the point it's attempting to make, I don't think it's particularly well written to be honest. On the contrary.
I have edited the post and it's now typo free! Could you tell me exactly how it isn't well written? I could always use constructive criticism.
Hey! I didn't expect you to reply on here and having to stand up for my possibly somewhat harsh remarks. I'll try to be more fair this time and make some contructive suggestions. In general I didn't like the structuring of your sentences in a couple of places. Use of commas, wording, stuff like that. Mostly minor things, but I'm picky when reading. Please take everything I'm saying with a grain of salt though, I'm not a native speaker.
First off, you really seem to have fixed many of the typos, nice job. :) I'm sitting at work right now, reading through your article again. Still found some typo leftovers and other things that irritated me:
a previously 47 million budget for both games
This seemed kinda weird to me. Don't know.
that bogs down the games pace
the game's pace
I now recoil when I’m now forced to
'now' twice
An example for comma problems: For my taste there's a comma too much in here...
So while in Skyrim, you’re the leader of multiple guilds
...which could have been placed here, after 'scrub', instead.
every soldier in every city is going to treat you like a nobody scrub sarcastically asking about a sweet roll
Another example of a minor irritation would be stuff like
Nathan Drake has a kill count of a small country at this point.
I would have written "the kill count of a small country".. but I might become too nitpicky here.
Some more typos/errors/stuff I found questionable or didn't like:
Unfortunately, many player’s expectations is to kick ass first
players' and expectation or expectations are?
You could possibly see that lack of complete openness a deterrent from the open-world
'as a deterrent'?
that allows Shenmue and others games like it
other games
Shenmue also has a far larger focus on story than other games in the genre by far.
'far' twice
does his stuff, comes home by a set curfew, and repeat
Is 'repeat' supposed to be imperative form here? I guess so. Not sure about this one.
Ryo doesn’t would wake up and start hauling ass immediately after the opening cutscene.
misplaced 'would'
Shenmue’s world are affirmed more than anything else, by relatable human emotions
world is?
he’s still a good kid you could still trust
'still' twice
represents the open-world genre - and gaming’s - obsession with power
I'd write 'represents the open-world genre's - and gaming's - obession' instead
Shenmue III, as a sequel to Shenmue II has a lot of potential
Again, nitpickyness. But I would have put a comma after 'Shenmue II'.
while still allowing the player to feel like they’re actually in his shoes
Not sure about this one. 'players' instead of 'player' or 'he's' instead if 'they're'?
he wakes up every day near the crack of dawn to travel to the harbor and work that forklift, which you drive, and have a quota to meet from 9 to 5
'have a quota' seems odd to me. You have or Ryo has?
the games are deliberate in their attempt to replicating normal human life
'attempt to replicate' or 'attempt of replicating'?
Since as game player’s, we’re used to game structure
players
taking certain levels of power out of player’s hands
'the player's' or players'
A genre now famous for holding player’s hands
same as above
they can’t release a game without telling player’s what to do
players
In contrast with the Sega’s epic, if there’s a door in the Shenmue franchise, it’s likely you can go inside
In contrast with Sega's epic
Some of Shenmue’s critics use this as a talking point that it’s boring and not very fun to play.
I don't like "use this as a talking point that", but maybe that's just me. I think I'd write "use as a talking point".
it’s something that grows on you and appreciate the more spend time with it.
Seems weird to me.
you have to go to class, meet deadlines, and like Shenmue, have a specific limitation
like in Shenmue?
Also like Shenmue, it was rated very highly. It’s also clearly inspired by some of the more minute element of Shenmue.
Here I would restructure everything, to evade using "also" twice and just to formulate that whole "was rated very highly" thing differently.
There’s an equally a valid approach to smaller
equally valid?
more densely detail open worlds
densely detailed?
Shenmue III’s developers fully understand the limitations that they placed on previous game gave it its signature panache
previous games
We need more games like it. Sometimes, maybe bigger really doesn’t necessarily mean better.
I found this to be a weak conclusion or final statement. It's the final sentence, it needs to have more punch, or more cleverness. Somehow. Sorry. :p
As I said, I'm not a native speaker, so some of my corrections might be bullshit. Everything else I'd criticize would probably be a matter of personal taste in writing styles, but I think some sentences or even whole parts would have to be rewritten to a degree before your article could be published as an opinion piece on some bigger site.
Please note: Neither am I in any way trying to discourage you, nor do I totally dislike what you've written. You're making very good points, both about Shenmue and open-world games in general. I remember feeling that dissonance while playing GTA IV and GTA IV: The Lost and Damned and totally agree with your point about tiring "checklist gaming". All in all it's a good effort, it's a nice text, just with some hickups. Maybe you can build on it, iron some stuff out, add some polish, you know?