Review The Last Game You Beat

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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby Chaos » Mon Dec 07, 2015 6:02 am

Halo 5

The campaign was pretty meh. Having to
fight the same boss over and over every level or two
got extremely tiring.

Multiplayer, gameplay-wise, is the best Halo has been since Halo 3 imo. They've fixed most of my complaints from Reach and 4. The major downfall is a horrible lack of variety in maps and gametypes. Also holy FUCK are forge maps disgustingly ugly.

ps, axm and yama we gotta play sometime. I haven't had much time lately because of outside shit I've had to do for work but I'm gonna grab a new mic this week and play a shitload.

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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby MiTT3NZ » Wed Dec 30, 2015 8:43 pm

Metal Gear Solid 3. After about a five month break I returned to it determined to get to grips with the controls. I did, and I found it slightly more enjoyable, but still very frustrating. Especially the boss fights. The one against The End had the potential to be a truly great boss fight. Unfortunately the controls, again, let it down.

Throughout the entire playthrough, I was constantly conflicted... Is this a game that I appreciate for how it was at the time? I do admire a lot of the small little details and some of the general ideas. Then again, is this something of a missed opportunity? Unfulfilled potential? It certainly feels like it. A video game that aesthetically seems content with just being a video game, but then the story comes into play and it seems to want to also be halfway between a TV film and a radio drama... that is then adapted into an anime or some shit.

Yes, the story is just straight up fucking ridiculous, along with the dialogue. The plot itself is fairly straight-forward enough, but it tries to be too meta in it's presentation and execution. Be it the "hey, isn't this dead charming like an old B movie?" message that Para-Medic tries to tell you post-savegame or the mind-numbing over explanations in the dull twenty minute cut scenes (seriously... the same peeps who had a go at TDKR have the audacity to turn round and say that Hideo Kojima's a great storyteller or the MGS lore is rich or some shit? Piss to fuck)

The entire thing feels forced and a complete mismatch between Japanese manga cheese and western action/spy stories like James Bond, Rambo, and even Splinter Cell at times (regardless of it's younger birthdate) The relationship between Snake and the Boss seems like it's supposed to be some big emotional plot point. Now, I dunno if it's because of the laughable casting choices, the direction, the lack of backstory outside of the frankly insulting ending where - what feels like an hour long monologue - takes a handful of sentences and paraphrases them as many times as possible to pad out what is essentially a short game if you're not ghosting or attempting on the highest difficulty... But the point is it's difficult to give two shits about Boss as a character. "She's my mentor, wahh!" "You're like a son to me, wahh!" You tried to kill me in the opening level, why the fuck do you think I'm gonna care that I have to kill you?

And what the fuck is with the other bosses? The wannabe cowboy who wants to kill you then doesn't want to kill you but will kill you if it's during some played out juggling Russian Roulette circus act. The roid raging BDSM-obsessed bisexual nympho that fidgets with bullets as he embraces the eternal orgasm of shoving a Pikachu up his arsehole. American Shun Di with the dislocated eyeball who reckons he's Snow White, and of course the lovechild of Chai and Toad from the X-Men.

I wouldn't mind, but sometimes during the radio comm convos, it seems like Snake's on your side. He realises how ridiculous everything is, and makes havin to sit through it slightly less awkward, but then he has that crippling role of being the protagonist so instantly starts takin shit seriously when peeps start displayin superpowers. But wait... he may take it seriously, but not in the "holy fuck, did you see what that guy just did?" sense, but more in the "Wolfenstein 3D is this story's account of how WWII went down" sense. Then again, I could see that happening considering what lengths they go through to tie the story into historical events. I mean, fuck me, the Boss' three hour history lecture prior to her penultimate speech was bad enough that I skipped it. And considerin the fact I never skip scenes - even in a game such as this one - should speak volumes of how awful it was. "Then in 43, then five years later, but three years before that... Some shit happened irl, but what really happened is a government conspiracy that I'm the last remaining survivor of n I'm also not who you think I am" (those last two things applied to too many characters n'all.

Oh, and can someone tell me what this obsession is with having the female characters - the only two besides the almost comm-exclusive Para-Medic btw - half gettin their tits out and being the typical mother/lover type? I don't get it. Unless the entire thing's just a parody n I've been had, but it just doesn't feel like it.

The best way to sum up the game is a fairly decent stealth game with shite controls, an incomplete survival system, typically cringey Japanese humour, and ludicrously long cut scenes in between each level segment that masquerades as a story that you'd enjoy more by skipping and using your imagination to fill in the blanks instead.

Still gotta get through Peace Walker n'all before I finally land on Ground Zeroes/The Phantom Pain. Better fuckin be worth it.

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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby Axm » Wed Dec 30, 2015 10:22 pm

Just to note, I dont agree with you at all but I just think it's cute how worked up over it you are.
It's my favorite MGS title. I love it, but your complaints are still valid coming into the game raw with no history with the series.
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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby MiTT3NZ » Wed Dec 30, 2015 10:36 pm

Its genuinely bad writing and about as interesting as a snail's journey from one slab of concrete to the next.
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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby OL » Thu Dec 31, 2015 12:52 am

^^It's a game that asks that you're versed in the rest of the series beforehand. Not necessarily because the story makes no sense without the other games (it stands just fine on its own), but because the other games establish the tone and basic flow that you're going to be facing in MGS3, with the first MGS especially being the one that eases you into it all.
I understand the complaint that the storytelling is long-winded; it's been covered by every reviewer who's ever touched the series. But that's the flow of it. Some people hate it, some people love it. But I think most people going into MGS3 have probably played the earlier games and know to expect the abundance of cutscenes and radio conversations. So if MGS3 is your first, and you weren't prepared for the stark division between gameplay and cutscenes... yeah, I get that it might seem annoying.
Otherwise, I guess the basic tone of it just isn't your thing. I can't really agree that it's genuinely bad writing, I just think it's not the sort of thing that appeals to you. It is pretty unique in that Kojima has a sort of anime/manga style of writing, but combines it with a lot of hard-military bits of realism (the guns, equipment, tactics, history, all that) and usually doesn't use the same character tropes you see in most other Japanese stories. He has his own style, but it is still distinctly Japanese, which I've never really figured to be particularly up your alley as it is.
Though I do have to say, I'm not sure why you have a problem with characters treating superpowers and other ridiculous stuff like that seriously when you're such a DC Comics fan...
But eh. Not a criticism, just an observation. It's okay to have exceptions. Nothing is concrete.

You do seem to have misunderstood the relationship between Snake and The Boss though. It's wasn't mother/son. It was penis/vagina. Also mentor/student, but penis/vagina is more pertinent.
Though I do agree, I never thought The Boss was that great a character either. I just think the twist at the end is the affecting part, the idea of her
sullying her place in history and forever having herself branded as a traitor, all in the name of something as hollow as "patriotism."

People seem to misunderstand the ending and think that the whole point is Snake being upset over the death of his old fuckbuddy, but it's more about him having his faith in the "goodness" of the US government shattered.

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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby MiTT3NZ » Thu Dec 31, 2015 8:56 am

That's not how the story told it. And I got the ending perfectly, drawn out as it was. Wouldn't consider it a twist either, seemed fairly obvious considerin they were goin for the spy/double agent angle throughout.

The DC comparison doesn't fly with me either. Everyone reacts to superpowers and magic. They're only gradually accepted as "the new normal", and even then the world it's set in doesn't try to be real. MGS seems to want tobhve a historically accurate world with out of place tech like Hydra in WW2. Difference being is that - cliched as it may be - the "otherworldly tech" excuse works.

With that said, I've just started Peace Walker n I'm feelin the storytelling a little more already. Maybe it's all about the presentation, or maybe MGS3 is just his worst work. Even the execution of the gameplay/control scheme feels better, though still nowhere near perfect. Perhaps the reconciliation between good story telling and good gameplay is something the series has struggle with, and has continually got better down the way, with the odd misstep here and there.

I'm still willin to judge each game on it's own merits, coz GZ looks like a brilliant stealth game, and with TPP bein an open world stealth game... well, it's pretty much a dream come true, coz sneakin it up in the Elder Scrolls series feels like Batman tormenting Dastardly and Mutley's crew.

EDIT: Okay, no. The game's a bit wank actually.
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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby Henry Spencer » Thu Dec 31, 2015 2:00 pm

You're going to love the boss battles in Peace Walker. And stay far, far away from MGS4, Mittens. If you think MGS3 is bad for cutscenes and bad narrative then...lol. MGS4 says hi.

And say what you will about MGS3, but leave The Sorrow out of it, that guy was the best thing about that game's story, imo. Underrated character. Can't wait to see your reaction to MGS2 either...

I think you might like MGS1 a bit more, I mean aside from the fact that it's my favourite (so there's some nostalgia there) it's definitely the shortest.
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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby MiTT3NZ » Thu Dec 31, 2015 3:37 pm

The Sorrow? He had nothing to do with anything. Most pointless character of the game and one of the worst boss battles I've encountered.

Also, be straight with me... will I like GZ and TPP? In fact, wait... don't answer that. I specifically remember playing Deadly Premonition on your recommendation n it turned out to be one of - if not the - worst video game(s) I've ever played.
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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby Riku Rose » Thu Dec 31, 2015 3:44 pm

The story takes a massive back step and it's all about the gameplay in MGSV. Pretty much every game in the series before that the story takes centre stage. The gameplay in MGSV is the best in the series in my opinion.

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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby OL » Thu Dec 31, 2015 4:00 pm

^^Yeah, I think at this point, I'd recommend Mitts just skips to MGSV and miss the rest. The story isn't going to matter for shit, but the gameplay is amazing. This is the only stealth game I've played where you can go prone and take cover behind something that's literally about 12 inches high, and actually stay hidden. It might not sound like anything impressive when just putting it into words like that, but having that much flexibility in a stealth game is, in my experience, unheard of anywhere else. It's crazy, actually being able to take cover from a sniper behind something that basically equates to the height of a sidewalk curb.

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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby MiTT3NZ » Thu Dec 31, 2015 4:07 pm

I'd love to skip ahead, but I just can't do that. For me everything has to be chronological or my brain will reject my body and find another host, and I'm not entirely sure whether I'll just be a vegetable body or a brain with a brand new shell. Sure, it could be a better one like whoever happens to be shaggin Natalie Portman atm, but I can't run the risk of bein a lifeless husk either.
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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby OL » Fri Jan 01, 2016 12:39 am

Dark Messiah: Might and Magic
(A lengthy, in-depth review in screenshots.
Except not really.)


So I'm walking around in one of the game's rare peaceful areas when I come across this woman trying desperately to wash the blood out of a garment after the day's earlier battle. She seems distraught, ranting to herself and all that.
Image

So I do what any good guy would do: give her a light kick in the bum. That oughtta wake her up, get her mind off things!
Cheerio ma'am! Good day to you!

Image

Oh wait. Um...
Image

Miss, I think...
Image

Wow, you're a delicate little flower, aren't you?
Image

Oh... oh my...
Good lord, I killed her! I fucking killed her! How was I supposed to know that would kill her?!
Oh my god, I'm so screwed! Game over man! Game over!

Image

I have to move the body. I... I have to move the body.
Gotta clean this up.
*hurk*... don't throw up. Don't you fucking puke, OL, don't you fucking puke!

Image

Hey! A fire!
I'll... I'll incinerate the body!
I think!
Shit, I don't know how this stuff works.

Image

Oh god, a guard is coming!
What do I do?!

Image

Throw the body in the fire!
It's... oh shit, It's not burning fast enough! I'm gonna get caught!

Image

Crap, he's getting closer!
Image

Shit! He's...!
Huh. He's, um... walking right by.

Image

He just walked by and totally ignored the fact that I was in the same room as a burning corpse.
Image

Haha!
Sweet freedom! I can do whatever the hell I want, and not even the law can touch me!
I'll just remove this body from the fire... weird that it isn't burning me.

Image

Hey look at me Mr. Guard!
I'm hauling around a crispy burnt corpse!
Whatcha gonna do about it?!
That's right! You ain't doing jack shit!

Image

I own this town! I don't give a fuck!
I'll leave a dead body in the middle of the road if I want!

Image

Hey guard... CATCH!
HaHA! I just threw a dead body at you!

Image

Oh hey, wait a minute... what are you doing with that sword?
Remember who owns this town, pal...

Image

AAAAHHH!!!
I'm so sorry I threw a corpse at you!
Was that over the line?! That was over the line!
I'm so sorry!

Image

Why god, why?!
Why must human beings be so flawed, that we make such stupid mistakes as these?!
I repent! I repent!
Save me oh lord!

Image

Ah shit, I'm dead.
Never mind. I regret nothing.

Image

Reload quicksave!
Image

Hey, who's this broad?
She looks like she could use a kick in the bum.

Image

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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby Jokatech19 » Fri Jan 01, 2016 12:54 am

I did an in depth review for Crisis Core on my site, and now I have to do one for Assassin's Creed 3. I wish there was an easy way to transfer it over here.
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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby ShenGCH » Fri Jan 01, 2016 2:52 am

MiTT3NZ wrote: The Sorrow? He had nothing to do with anything. Most pointless character of the game and one of the worst boss battles I've encountered.

Also, be straight with me... will I like GZ and TPP? In fact, wait... don't answer that. I specifically remember playing Deadly Premonition on your recommendation n it turned out to be one of - if not the - worst video game(s) I've ever played.

In terms of overall quality, Ground Zeroes far outweighs The Phantom Pain - it has a very straightforward, no-nonsense story, too - but The Phantom Pain is infinitely superior where gameplay, stealth, freedom, customisation, variety, and all that jazz are concerned. Ground Zeroes' Side Ops missions, bar one or two, are pretty terrible, though.
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Re: Review The Last Game You Beat

Postby Kenny » Fri Jan 01, 2016 4:06 pm

MiTT3NZ wrote: I'd love to skip ahead, but I just can't do that. For me everything has to be chronological or my brain will reject my body and find another host, and I'm not entirely sure whether I'll just be a vegetable body or a brain with a brand new shell. Sure, it could be a better one like whoever happens to be shaggin Natalie Portman atm, but I can't run the risk of bein a lifeless husk either.


If you already don't like the story from MGS3, take OL's advice. Your brain will tell your body to commit suicide over the sheer absurdity of the storyline if you continue onwards.

And there's so little story in MGS5, you'll spend more time playing it than anything. Though Quiet's storyline is quite good. I recommend you play the absolute shit out of it by getting soldiers and building weapons before progressing onwards with the main missions. Having alot of good non-lethal weapons, D-Dog, and then Quiet will make shit alot easier. Even then, the enemies are so cunning, you'd swear you're playing Splinter Cell.

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