Pornmue 1

[David Hazuki]

Those of you from the old old dojo may remember the member Shenmuehongkong starting this story. what it is is like a funny version of Shenmue 1. we stick to the plot of shenmue 1, yet make it different. u get what im saying?
make this a funny, stupid, sick, or crazy as u want! just try to somehow stick to the original plot. Also, each part of the story doesnt have to be like 3 words or something. make it like a few sentences and then leave the rest to the next people.

Our story begins with Ryo Hazuki running up the road to his house in Yamanose. He sees a big black car parked in front of his house. He goes into the front yard and finds Ine San lying on the ground. Ine San says...

[Juanfran]

"Ryo-san... I'm alright... but the kippers I baked for your tea..."

[Darkly]

they are all ruined by that evil Lan Di! He came for your father and...

[-DARKSIDE-]

To steal your sega saturn because it is in the wrong time period...

[David Hazuki]

NOTE: good job guys. but just a note, it doesnt have to be fragments like in the neverending story. it can be actual sentence(s).


Ryo said "Shut up bitch" and dropped her on the ground. He then walked towards the dojo. ALl of the sudden, the doors burst open and Fuck-san flew out. he was wearing leather, dog chains, and holding a whip in his hand.

Fucksan(fuku san, get it? lol): Ryosan! i was just trying to have sex with Iwao when they came in......

Ryo proceeded into the dojo...

[Juanfran]

...where he found Lan-di confronting Iwao.

Lan Di said "Tell me where it is!"
Iwao: "I'll never tell you!"
Both men stared at each opther, and quick drew their conkers.
Lan di: Swing it bitch
They swing, and tragically, Iwao's prize conker is brutalised.
Iwao: Crap!
Lan di: "Now... where is the...

[David Hazuki]

... dragon dildo?


Iwao: no matter how many times u fuck me up the ass with your crowbar cock, Lan DICK ( ), i will never tell you!

Lan dick looks over to ryo. THe black suits grab ryo and hold him still. Lan Dick drops his pants.

Lan dick: hand it over..... or your son.......

[Juanfran]

Iwao: Wait! I'll tell you. It's buried under Iné-san!

LanDi nods to his henchmen who step outside.

LanDi: Do you remember Zhao SunMing?
Iwao: Zhao...!
LanDi: That's the name of the man you..

[David Hazuki]

...gagged to death with your cum

Iwao: it cant be!!! YOu!?!?!!!

Lan Dick: Get up! I will allow u to swallow like a hooker....

[Juanfran]

Ryo looked away as LanDick exacted *sweet* revenge on Iwao.

Suit: Lan-di sama. We have it.

They all left Ryo stared after them, hatred burning in his eyes. He crawled over to his dying father who said...

[David Hazuki]

Keep ur bitches..... the ones that make good money for u....close to u......

and with that, Iwao passed out and died.

Ryo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! cough cough cough NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cough GAG NOOOO-ok thats enough.

Ryo spent the next few days at home, watching porn and having nightmares, when he decided that he had to find this man, lan Dick, and avenge his fathers death.

[goaliefrk]

The next day he left town and set off for Lan Dick.(he also brought a few hookers for the night too)

[David Hazuki]

Ryo walked down thru Yamonose until he came to the shrine, were he saw Megumi. he walked up to her.

Ryo: what u got there, bitch?

Megumi: a pussy! wanna see it?

Ryo: wow, its so small!

Megumi: u can touch it if u want!

mean while a woman came up behind them.

Woman: CHILD MOLESTER!

she looked over ryo's shoulder and saw that they were petting a little kitten.

The woman turned red: oh.
she quickly ran off.

Ryo: did u see a black car with a plastic dick on the roof driving away from my house on that day the snow turned to rain?

Megumi: i heard that Yamagashi san got plunged up the ass with the plastic dick!

Ryo: yamagashi san? of Sakarugouta?

Megumi: ya! it was a big plastic penis, and the car was going very fast!

Ryo: ill go talk to Yamagashi-san......

[Forklift#5]

completly out of topic: if you don't finish CHANGE THE NAME!

[mikec_ct]

*Ryo goes to Yamagishi San's side-yard, where he is walking around*

Ryo: Yamagishi San! I heard that you were injured when the car of the man who killed my father ran into you

Yamagishi: Yes, I was bending over in the middle of the road to pick up a shiny quarter when I suddenly felt great pain in my anal cavity. IT was a good kind of pain though, almost pleasurable. In fact....

Ryo: That's enough! Do you realize that you were skewered by a giant fake penis???

Yamagishi: Giant fake penis? And I liked it? That explains why I've become such a huge "Will & Grace" fan lately!

Ryo: Did you see where the penis.....I mean, uhhh, car.....was going?

Yamagishi: It was headed towards Dobuita.

Ryo: Thank you