Welcome to the red carpet coverage for the 2017 Dojo Awards which is promising to be the biggest ones yet! There's been a record amount of votes this year and the party has been going on all day, Just earlier today we had the Sonikku girls dancing down the red carpet.
This year Yama has also been kind enough to invite retarded kids who like colours from a local special needs school.
All the stars are here tonight and we now go to Thief who is interviewing Emma Stone.
Thief: Hi Emma, just how happy are you to be here?
Emma Stone: The Dojo Awards has to be my favourite event of the year and I'm always honoured to be here.
Thief: It looks like Anime Gamer behind you is excited.
Emma Stone: Oh, his just never been this close to a woman before.
Thief: Well it looks like everyone is heading inside as Jeff Goldblum is already pissed and singing inside.
So come on in everyone and strap yourselves in.
The 2017 7th Annual Dojo Awards!!!
Welcome ladies and gentleman to the 2017 7th Annual Dojo Awards live from the Kodak theatre. We've got a heck of a show for you tonight so let's get started.
*Riku Rose walks out on stage*
Riku Rose:
Welcome all. Last year was a quiet year yet again due to the delay of Shenmue III which we're all looking forward to but hopefully 2018 will finally be the year. Outside of the Shenmue forums it's been pretty quiet but I believe it's the members who have been here through thick and thin that keep me coming back.
We've gone all out this year by getting in Jeff Goldblum so to be honest with you we couldn't get the most in demand people to present the awards, still I'm sure everyone will have a good time.
On with the show.
Please see below for the list of previous winners:
Game of the Year:
2010: Deadly Premonition
2011: Batman: Arkham City
2012: Assassin's Creed III
2013: The Last of Us
2015: Bloodborne
2016: The Last Guardian
Buzz Killington Award:
2010:Ryudo and Dorian
2011:Dorian
2012:Ryudo
2013:AnimeGamer183
2015:Himuro
2016:Himuro
Biggest Bully:
2010:Ryudo
2011:Ryudo
2012:Ryudo
2013:QWERTY
2015:Riku Rose
2016:MiTT3NZ
Biggest Punchbag:
2010:Jokatech19
2011:Jokatech19
2012:Ryudo
2013:Animegamer183
2015:Animegamer183
2016:Animegamer183
Funniest Member:
2010:Kiba
2011:Spokane, OL, Animegamer183
2012:Kiba
2013:QWERTY and Let's Get Sweaty
2015:Riku Rose
2016:south carmain
Coolest Member:
2012:OL and MiTT3NZ
2013:Rakim
2015:St. Elmo's Fire
2016:OL
Worst Member:
2010:Jokatech19
2011:Ryudo and Dorian
2013:Animegamer183
2015:Brosause
2016:Animegamer183
Member of the Year:
2010:Kenny
2011:OL
2012:Peter
2013:MiTT3NZ
2015:Ziming
2016:Peter
Now please put your hands together for our host this evening, Mr Jeff Goldblum!
Jeff Goldblum:
Wa-welcome to the um, err, Dojo Awards which is, just, umm, err, fantastic. To get us, umm, err started is a nice, umm man to present the best, umm, err game award.
Woody Allen:
If anyone sees my daughter, sorry I mean wife let her know I'm looking for her.
GOTY
In 3rd Place - Super Mario Odyssey
In 2nd Place - Yakuza 0
In 1st Place:
Jeff Goldblum:
For the umm, biggest buzzkill award we have, umm a man who is no fun for the umm ladies:
Louis CK:
If anyone wants to come to my room for a drink hit me up:
Buzz Killington:
In 3rd Place - Kintor
In 2nd Place - Shenmue_Legend
In 1st Place -
Jeff Goldblum:
For the umm biggest bully award we umm got the biggest bully we could umm find and a woman who doesn't umm want to be with him:
Harvey Weinstein:
It's so nice to be able to be out in public again:
Biggest Bully:
In 3rd Place - Shredingskin
In 2nd Place - South Carmain
In 1st Place -
Jeff Goldblum:
The next award is umm biggest umm punchbag which isn't umm nice but we have umm the biggest punchbag recently to present it:
Kevin Spacey:
I understand how tough it can be guys, I recently got fired just for just revealing I'm gay:
Biggest Punchbag:
In 3rd place - Animegamer183
In 2nd Place - Kintor
In 1st Place:
Jeff Goldblum:
For the umm funniest award we have a man who umm was kinda funny in that parent movie:
Dustin Hoffman:
Hey lady, want me to buy you a drink?
Funniest Member:
In 3rd Place - Riku Rose
In 2nd Place - Mittens
In 1st Place:
Jeff Goldblum:
The next award is the umm coolest member award. Our next umm guest can't actually umm enter the country so we have by umm the power of the umm internet:
Steven Segal:
Before I present this I just want to thank Mr Putin for allowing me to present this award.
Coolest Member:
In 3rd Place - South Carmain
In 2nd Place - Mr357
In 1st place:
Jeff Goldblum:
As umm always we have umm Kiba for the worst member award:
Kiba:
Net neutrality is the beginning of the end for us all!
Worst Member:
In 3rd Place - Animegamer183
In 2nd Place - Kintor
In 1st Place:
Jeff Goldblum:
This is the umm, final umm, award. So please put your hands together for umm, the present of the best umm, member award. The President!!!
Donald Trump:
Thank you everyone. I've won many of these awards myself, more then anyone.
Member of the year:
In 3rd Place - OL
In 2nd Place - Mittens
The Member of the year is:
Jeff Goldblum:
Wow, big wow. Amazing. Thanks umm everyone, now to finish up I want to umm welcome umm my favourite band. TOTO
See you all next year