Random Thoughts! v2.0

[Crimson Ryan]

Well that couldn't happen to a worse person. Good luck in the future, Carlos. You'll be back soon!

[Spokane]

You will be in my thoughts.

[Yokosuka Martian]

The days will get better, trust me.

[Dorian]

Greetings, Shenmue Dojo.

It seems it's that time again...
I delayed it. I did.
In all honesty I don't know how I was able to freeze the clock at two minutes to midnight for aslong as I did.
But you can't run forever.
Not forever.
Not when you're going nowhere.

Yes, I am fully aware how pathetic it is to share such things in a internet forum. It always reeks of lameness and attention seeking.
I don't have anywhere else to leave such thoughts and such feelings, so please bear with me. Ignore it. Delete it if you must.

Let this be my confession, my testament, my writing on the wall...


Tomorrow I lose everything I have, again.
Everything I haven't lost yet, I mean.
A home, the worthless 'job' I had (that still payed part of the expenses), a couple of friends (the few true ones I have), my few belongings and yes, the few precious videogames and the one console I have at present.

300 euros late on the rent will turn to 500 euros late in the next two weeks.
All the money I have sums not even 40 euros.
I have nowhere to go.
Not family, not friends.
My girlfriend is heartbroken but I'm already owing her 200 euros and she just can't help me more.
My landlord is the only friend I have that would give me a hand in times of need. Yes, that's the same landlord I'm already owing 300 eur...

I just can't find more excuses to keep delaying the end of the world...

For the last couple of weeks I have been lying to everyone about still being working on the coffee where I was working for a while. I was sent away in the begging of the month but I just couldn't face the consequences of that happening when it did. I have been lying to everybody about it, namely my girlfriend and my landlord, hoping I could get a job elsewhere or get the rent money I owe some other way.
I delayed the payment time and again, and again and again, but the shame and the guilt have grown too big and my landlords' pacience as long been lost.
Plus I have no perspectives at all.
I have been delivering some resumés here and there, knocking on some doors but nothing.
Every time I look at the newspaper Portugal is deeper in the gutter. We will be the new Greece soon enough.

Ever since I turned 18 I have lacked any type of support or structure, if you know what I mean.

After being homeless for about 3 years, I have been taking precarious jobs or odd jobs, being paid under the table, because for one, I didn't had the time nor resources to look and conquer proper ones, but also because I have a huge void inside myself for aslong as I can remember that paralyses me with fear, that leads me to keep running away, running away from things I can't even name most of the time. I guess I'm talking about my past, my history, my parents, myself, fear of failure, I don't know...

I hope that I can one day repay the few people that have helped me, namely my girlfriend and that friend of mine that is currently my landlord.
I hope they will not think ill of me, I hope they don't think I'm a lier, even if I lied to them.
This is the most important thing for me right now. The only that truly matters.

I don't have a clue about what the day after tomorrow will bring for me but I hope that one day I will be able to rise again, I hope I somehow will truly find myself and conquer a chance at redemption.

I hope I will be able to get back here and have a good time with you lot.

I raise my glass for you, my friends.

I thank you for all the entertainment, all the enlightment, all the laughs.

Even when you can't get along with each other, never stop being a brotherhood.
There's nothing worse than being alone.

Cheers, everybody.

I hope I can see you around.

Your good hearted Loki,

Carlos

Words seem pointless at a time like this, but I still hope that words of this song will help you feel better at least in a microscopic fraction.

http://soundcloud.com/patrick-wolf/paris

[Bluecast]

Lamewad has a avatar from the first movie to show me the female anatomy. Weird movie as well. But you get to see Patrick Stewart Explode and hot naked chick walk around the whole time.

[Dorian]

[Kenny]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJUrFa5yH3g[/youtube]

I keep forgetting i'm subscribed to this guy.

[Spokane]

Guess what Kenny, the same shit just happened to me. Jeff's mug was at the top of my youtube vids.

I had a really cool dream a week or two ago. Can't remember what it was anymore though.

[Bluecast]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJUrFa5yH3g[/youtube]

I keep forgetting i'm subscribed to this guy.

STFU Jeff

[KiBa]

Greetings, Shenmue Dojo.

It seems it's that time again...
I delayed it. I did.
In all honesty I don't know how I was able to freeze the clock at two minutes to midnight for aslong as I did.
But you can't run forever.
Not forever.
Not when you're going nowhere.

Yes, I am fully aware how pathetic it is to share such things in a internet forum. It always reeks of lameness and attention seeking.
I don't have anywhere else to leave such thoughts and such feelings, so please bear with me. Ignore it. Delete it if you must.

Let this be my confession, my testament, my writing on the wall...


Tomorrow I lose everything I have, again.
Everything I haven't lost yet, I mean.
A home, the worthless 'job' I had (that still payed part of the expenses), a couple of friends (the few true ones I have), my few belongings and yes, the few precious videogames and the one console I have at present.

300 euros late on the rent will turn to 500 euros late in the next two weeks.
All the money I have sums not even 40 euros.
I have nowhere to go.
Not family, not friends.
My girlfriend is heartbroken but I'm already owing her 200 euros and she just can't help me more.
My landlord is the only friend I have that would give me a hand in times of need. Yes, that's the same landlord I'm already owing 300 eur...

I just can't find more excuses to keep delaying the end of the world...

For the last couple of weeks I have been lying to everyone about still being working on the coffee where I was working for a while. I was sent away in the begging of the month but I just couldn't face the consequences of that happening when it did. I have been lying to everybody about it, namely my girlfriend and my landlord, hoping I could get a job elsewhere or get the rent money I owe some other way.
I delayed the payment time and again, and again and again, but the shame and the guilt have grown too big and my landlords' pacience as long been lost.
Plus I have no perspectives at all.
I have been delivering some resumés here and there, knocking on some doors but nothing.
Every time I look at the newspaper Portugal is deeper in the gutter. We will be the new Greece soon enough.

Ever since I turned 18 I have lacked any type of support or structure, if you know what I mean.

After being homeless for about 3 years, I have been taking precarious jobs or odd jobs, being paid under the table, because for one, I didn't had the time nor resources to look and conquer proper ones, but also because I have a huge void inside myself for aslong as I can remember that paralyses me with fear, that leads me to keep running away, running away from things I can't even name most of the time. I guess I'm talking about my past, my history, my parents, myself, fear of failure, I don't know...

I hope that I can one day repay the few people that have helped me, namely my girlfriend and that friend of mine that is currently my landlord.
I hope they will not think ill of me, I hope they don't think I'm a lier, even if I lied to them.
This is the most important thing for me right now. The only that truly matters.

I don't have a clue about what the day after tomorrow will bring for me but I hope that one day I will be able to rise again, I hope I somehow will truly find myself and conquer a chance at redemption.

I hope I will be able to get back here and have a good time with you lot.

I raise my glass for you, my friends.

I thank you for all the entertainment, all the enlightment, all the laughs.

Even when you can't get along with each other, never stop being a brotherhood.
There's nothing worse than being alone.

Cheers, everybody.

I hope I can see you around.

Your good hearted Loki,

Carlos

Come to America. And remember, that which does not kill you makes you weaker.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJUrFa5yH3g[/youtube]

I keep forgetting i'm subscribed to this guy.

Jeff is my favorite member ever.

Here's a sick one, fellas. There's even a one-armed man:

http://www.cnn.com/2012/10/13/us/florid ... index.html

[Martin]

That post by ThyDarkAngel made me sad. I really hope he's OK.

[Bluecast]

DOA I don't want you DOA. I wish you the best of luck and remember if you need help just ask. This place will help a fellow dojoer in need.

[AnimeGamer183]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJUrFa5yH3g[/youtube]

I keep forgetting i'm subscribed to this guy.

Kinda reminds me of one of the "movie dreams" I had a while back, just I was fortunate enough to see the entire thing all the way through AND remember it, start to finish. It was a bad ass futuristic bank heist movie, kind of like oceans 11 but with the federal reserve bank in washington dc (your welcome spok), I worked there and so did most of the other people in the heist, there was helicopters, explosions, the bank itself was this HUGE tower building. Some of it had to have been inspired by the bank hold up scene in the movie Heat with al pacino and robert deniro. Basically it was a group of men, some that worked in the bank and knew the ins and outs of the security systems and how to setup everything so the guys from the outside could get in and get out scott free with no trace, the group of guys that worked there were from multiple different departments so it was all very possible, there was philosophy amongst the characters basically saying fuck the government and in the date and time it took place and under the certain circumstances it was basically a robin hood steal from the rich to feed the poor kind of scenerio, thing is they worked for the government but were manning up because they didnt agree with what they were doing. It probably took place some 30-50+ years in the future, one of the most indepth dreams I have ever had. I loved the ending, the guys on the inside leave the place like a normal day at work acting like nothing happened, the other people in the building just think there were small security breechs that quickly got under control that day, but anyway they get in their foreign sports cars with their sun glasses and basically laugh and say they are about to meet up then go get a drink as they radio the guys from the outside that are being escorted away in a helicopter from the roof of the place with the money. Interesting thing was it may have been some kind of futuristic electronic money that wasnt traceable or was hacked to be made not traceable or something. REally strange I can remember that much about it, I must have had it about a year ago or more.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/10/13/us/florid ... index.html

Really messed up story right there, sounds like something out of a fiction novel or movie, its fascinating to be honest.

[Bluecast]

BEER KEYBOARD! Get drunk with LOL
http://www.engadget.com/2012/10/16/beer ... -and-beer/

[beedle]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJUrFa5yH3g[/youtube]

I keep forgetting i'm subscribed to this guy.

charisma of a dead badger