Anti-jokes

(Discuss literally anything here including introductions)

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby QWERTY » Fri Sep 07, 2012 10:30 pm

Segata Sanshiro Jr. wrote: I'll decide when I can say whatever I please.

Two weeks or not I don't think EITHER of you should mention the other in any of your posts, if you don't get along, thats fine you're two different people, I respect that, I like both of you. Throwing out each others names and these little jabs ain't helping anyone. I'm mentioning it to you, and I've mentioned it to him.

So how bout we just chill out, let you two ignore each other and just let things rest instead of either of you picking a fight.


Alright, don't get stroppy with your hand bag... bitch.

Like you said in your last sentence, I was trying to let it be. Honest to god, I really was, but if someone brings something up in my face (like in real life) I'd rather face it head on than just let it simmer and slowly build up further over time. I haven't followed him around the forum looking for a fight, he evidently did with me tonight, and like the age old adage; if you constantly harangue a dog you will get bitten eventually.
User avatar
QWERTY
Pee Eye Zee Zee Ay
Banned
 
Joined: February 2004

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby Segata Sanshiro Jr. » Fri Sep 07, 2012 10:35 pm

Its ok, baby, its ok, give daddy a big hug.

Now, lets just pretend we're back on the top half of page 1 again.

A baby walks into a bar, the baby dies of a concussion.

Segata Sanshiro Jr. has received a thanks from: St. Elmo's Fire
User avatar
Segata Sanshiro Jr.
Mannytaro
Shenmue III
 
Joined: July 2010
Location: Nueva Jork
PSN: Wildfire21
XBL: Wildfire Green
Favorite title: What's Shenmue
Currently playing: Rent A Hero

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby QWERTY » Fri Sep 07, 2012 10:40 pm

A man goes to the doctors and says "doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains" and the doctor replies "well I'm afraid that is irrelevent now, you have approximately 24 hours to live."

QWERTY has received a thanks from: St. Elmo's Fire
User avatar
QWERTY
Pee Eye Zee Zee Ay
Banned
 
Joined: February 2004

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby Segata Sanshiro Jr. » Fri Sep 07, 2012 10:43 pm

QWERTY™ wrote: A man goes to the doctors and says "doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains" and the doctor replies "well I'm afraid that is irrelevent now, you have approximately 24 hours to live."


A priest, a rabbi and an imam are on a crashing plane, they decide to jump out as a test of faith. They all die painfully.

Segata Sanshiro Jr. has received 2 thanks from: mrslig100, St. Elmo's Fire
User avatar
Segata Sanshiro Jr.
Mannytaro
Shenmue III
 
Joined: July 2010
Location: Nueva Jork
PSN: Wildfire21
XBL: Wildfire Green
Favorite title: What's Shenmue
Currently playing: Rent A Hero

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby QWERTY » Fri Sep 07, 2012 10:45 pm

What's the worst thing about three black guys driving off of a cliff?
They were my friends.

QWERTY has received 2 thanks from: mrslig100, St. Elmo's Fire
User avatar
QWERTY
Pee Eye Zee Zee Ay
Banned
 
Joined: February 2004

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby Segata Sanshiro Jr. » Fri Sep 07, 2012 10:49 pm

QWERTY™ wrote: What's the worst thing about three black guys driving off of a cliff?
They were my friends.


Three Cherokee boys are talking to their father. they ask him how he decided their names. He tells them he named them after the white men that raped their mother.

Segata Sanshiro Jr. has received 2 thanks from: QWERTY, St. Elmo's Fire
User avatar
Segata Sanshiro Jr.
Mannytaro
Shenmue III
 
Joined: July 2010
Location: Nueva Jork
PSN: Wildfire21
XBL: Wildfire Green
Favorite title: What's Shenmue
Currently playing: Rent A Hero

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby QWERTY » Fri Sep 07, 2012 10:52 pm

Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'

QWERTY has received a thanks from: St. Elmo's Fire
User avatar
QWERTY
Pee Eye Zee Zee Ay
Banned
 
Joined: February 2004

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby Segata Sanshiro Jr. » Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:00 pm

A man is sitting down with his daughter on his lap. He mentions she has gotten heavier, so she becomes bulimic.

Segata Sanshiro Jr. has received a thanks from: St. Elmo's Fire
User avatar
Segata Sanshiro Jr.
Mannytaro
Shenmue III
 
Joined: July 2010
Location: Nueva Jork
PSN: Wildfire21
XBL: Wildfire Green
Favorite title: What's Shenmue
Currently playing: Rent A Hero

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby Bluecast » Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:03 pm

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar.
The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"
User avatar
Bluecast
Jean Valjean
Banned
 
Joined: August 2003
PSN: Ryudoadam
XBL: Dogi99
Nintendo FC: Segata
Steam: Ryudo2k9
Favorite title: Shenmue
Currently playing: Some weeb game as always.

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby QWERTY » Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:04 pm

A man goes to his doctor and says "My head hurts when I touch it" .The doctor replies "dont touch it then".
User avatar
QWERTY
Pee Eye Zee Zee Ay
Banned
 
Joined: February 2004

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby Bluecast » Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:07 pm

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Let's go ride bikes!
User avatar
Bluecast
Jean Valjean
Banned
 
Joined: August 2003
PSN: Ryudoadam
XBL: Dogi99
Nintendo FC: Segata
Steam: Ryudo2k9
Favorite title: Shenmue
Currently playing: Some weeb game as always.

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby Segata Sanshiro Jr. » Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:17 pm

A man goes to the doctor for a colonoscopy, the doctor rapes him and later kills himself.

Segata Sanshiro Jr. has received a thanks from: St. Elmo's Fire
User avatar
Segata Sanshiro Jr.
Mannytaro
Shenmue III
 
Joined: July 2010
Location: Nueva Jork
PSN: Wildfire21
XBL: Wildfire Green
Favorite title: What's Shenmue
Currently playing: Rent A Hero

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby QWERTY » Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:21 pm

Bluecast wrote: Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Let's go ride bikes!


You haven't got the hang of this mate. Say par example - "Why did the chicken cross the road? Because she was being carried by her owner to a slaughterhouse because the owner couldn't be arsed with cleaning up her shit every day"

The whole thing about an anti-joke is it starts off as a joke but winds down into something darker, more normal or without any kind of a punchline.

QWERTY has received a thanks from: MiTT3NZ
User avatar
QWERTY
Pee Eye Zee Zee Ay
Banned
 
Joined: February 2004

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby Segata Sanshiro Jr. » Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:23 pm

The way I've been doing it is thinking of a real joke I've heard then making it as dark as possible.

if that helps.
User avatar
Segata Sanshiro Jr.
Mannytaro
Shenmue III
 
Joined: July 2010
Location: Nueva Jork
PSN: Wildfire21
XBL: Wildfire Green
Favorite title: What's Shenmue
Currently playing: Rent A Hero

Re: Anti-jokes

Postby QWERTY » Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:30 pm

Segata Sanshiro Jr. wrote: The way I've been doing it is thinking of a real joke I've heard then making it as dark as possible.

if that helps.


No, see... even then, than 'aint what an anti-joke is. It's basically taking the archetypal stylings of the genesis of a joke and then doing a switcheroo halfway through and making it just a standard statment. Like - How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? Just one will suffice. Electricians are qualified to handle a simple operation involving a basic procedure of that nature.
Last edited by QWERTY on Fri Sep 07, 2012 11:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

QWERTY has received a thanks from: Segata Sanshiro Jr.
User avatar
QWERTY
Pee Eye Zee Zee Ay
Banned
 
Joined: February 2004

PreviousNext

Return to Off Topic

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot], Majestic-12 [Bot] and 1 guest

Powered by phpBB © 2000-
ShenmueDojo.net