by mue 26 » Wed Nov 14, 2012 9:12 pm
Taking this thread in a slightly different direction, women...I love women, but why do romances always get more complicated than they have any right to be? I can't really say anything as cliché as "I'm a simple man", because well...I'm probably not, I'm probably quite complicated and paradoxical in may ways to be honest. But I'm at least unfalteringly frank when it comes to expressing emotion and feelings to a romantic partner. And that's all I ask in return, sincerity. The most important quality as far as I am concerned. But it becomes increasingly clear that what I had found in someone was blatantly not true sincerity, and then I want to run away from that person as fast as I can, but another part of myself (and other people, who tell me that I "expect too much")tries to convince me that I just need to look a bit harder and I'll find that connection I'm looking for in that person. And I end up utterly confused, wondering why the hell I even bothered in the first place.
And to make matters worse, due to the highly unusual circumstances (that I shan't go into) surrounding the origins of this relationship, I think I'm like properly heartbroken, for probably the first time in my life. Is it really so hard to find someone who truly understands me, and doesn't just pretend to?
I just feel so utterly distracted now, I don't need any of this, I just need to focus on training and on my goals. Maybe I should give up on being such an overly romantic fool? ahahaha.
Sorry, this is probably the kind of shit that should be relegated to the "Mue's musing" thread over at Shenmue UK. It's almost as bad as the kind of crap that Beeds would blog about when he was 16.
mue 26 has received a thanks from: Sonikku