by Peter » Wed Jun 10, 2015 12:57 pm
Absolutely bud. Anytime. Life is relentless, and full of ups and downs.
Funny story about the above case, when me and my friend were intoxicated last September on the first day of the Premier League season, I more or less spelled it out to him what was happening when I got home. That was it. He knew he couldn't beat me or talk me out of it. I walked home smiling, breathing in the air, looking at trees and happy knowing I was taking my last look at these natural things. My friend then left me at my house and legged it to my parents and within minutes my mum called me in hysterics, constantly asking me what's wrong. I had loads of little shit things going on, absolutely nothing that warrented commuting suicide.
Anyways, just this week my grandmother passed away and to be honest, we have all been doing ok. Not too bad, she was 90! So can't be too sad! But during all this I messaged the same friend asking why he hadn't messaged me at all, even to offer any sort of sympathies or respect. He completely lost it with me, saying I was never his best friend, and to get fucked. So now I literally have zero friends. I have no one to go for a beer with, or to the cinema. Or a girlfriend to be close with. I have my mother, father and sister in my life at 31 years of age. I have work colleagues etc, but no one outside of work.
The bizarre/funny thing I that I am still happy. I don't care. That one thing isn't the be all and end all of life. There are always other things. Life is what you make it, and after going through all that stuff last year, I have the strength to focus on other things. Like in the short term, working on Shenmue projects, helping the community and looking into broadening my games knowledge in general. For the long term, I travel again in November. Back to Oz, and also up to Japan and across to China. Id love to visit the US and Canada too. Again, life is what you make it. Try and take baby steps and before long, you are out of that dark room, you find yourself sitting in, sobbing and alone, and looking forward to achieving the plans and goals that you yourself have created.