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Postby danny » Fri Aug 14, 2015 3:01 am

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Last edited by danny on Tue Aug 18, 2015 1:26 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby Thief » Fri Aug 14, 2015 4:29 am

I have no desire to enjoy life on my own or to only experience sex in the absence of love. I desire companionship -- to experience love/friendship with another, a single person, with whom I can truly understand and who can understand me as well. I want to raise children who're capable of making their own mistakes in life, hating life, loving life, questioning life, and simply living life in any way -- because to simply exist is a great experience. I desire struggle, arguments, yelling, laughing, disfunction if necessary, and even the risk of being broke and unhealthy -- if it means I get to share those experiences with another. I look back at times of hardship in my life with fondness because my time was shared with others, my happiest days spent alone are worse than my saddest days spent with others. The life you've described is the one I fear the most.
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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby Shibiryo » Fri Aug 14, 2015 5:16 am

I think that experiencing life alone is better financially and you don't need to worry about anything extra like your partner or any kids if that's what gets to. You might give birth to someone that could eventually struggle real hard in life and the responsibility will be all yours. For gamers, it's usually common to stay alone however it's all up to that person. If you want to use money as you wish, want to enjoy life and relax then it's best to not get into a relationship but keep in mind humans can go crazy without any social activity.
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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby ConanTheKing » Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:19 am

I hope to have kids. If you don't then you always end up alone as your friends die off one by one and each time that happens you are reminded once more that the end is near. You might be somewhat lucky, you might be the first to die amongst your group of friends but then it's not so lucky when you consider that probably means your life has been cut short.

Being surrounded by family in your final years is far more comforting. It gives happiness knowing that you leave something in the world, you provided for someone and your life will carry on in that person's memories. In turn they are there for you, they understand what you have done for them and when you get older they will take care of you instead of you taking care of them.

I agree with Thief, a life alone is one that I fear the most. I liked it when I was younger, but as a person in my late 20s I can't carry on like that anymore.
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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby Hyo Razuki » Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:29 am

First off, I wouldn't agree that it doesn't make sense to have kids these days. If it doesn't make sense for you, that's your decision and I'm sure everybody's cool with that. I agree that if one chooses that kind of life style, visiting prostitutes is probably cheaper in the long run, than having to pay for drinks, dinners and dates and going from one girlfriend or one night stand to the next. I don't see anything wrong with prostitution in general, as well, as long as two grown-up people participate in it of their own free will.

But I personally plan on getting married and having children. For the sake of procreating. Don't give me the overpopulation issue or anything. I don't care what other people are doing. I want my own genes to be passed on and not some-one else's. And in order to procreate, monogamous relationships are still the best way to do it, imho. Of course they have disadvantages but I am willing to get those disadvantages in order to procreate. Having a car has disadvantages, as does having a job, having a building loan contract or shaving wet. You need to decide if it is worth it for you.

So why is a monogamous relationship still the best way to procreate? Same game as it has been since a million years ago. As a man, I want to make sure, the children I am raising are in fact mine. Making sure the mother sleeps with no other men but me is the safest way to do that.
Of course there could be cheating in any relationship but let's just assume the relationship is indeed monogamous.


The woman on the other hand wants to make sure that I as a man invest all my time and ressources, financial and mental, into her children, not another woman's. Me having children with other women would take away part of my ressources from her children.

Nothing wrong with your life style though. I'm just saying why I personally feel that monogamous relationships are still useful.

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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby amiga1200 » Fri Aug 14, 2015 7:07 am

:???: odd subject, but when in rome, right?!
...
some of us are WAYYY late to that game, and playing it, or not.
...
nobody tells me what to do, and get away with it, or i them.
clearly, humanity isn't likely to go extinct if some bug-out and follow their own paths, and there's more than enough simpering couples strutting stuff in public, shoving it in faces, they're better off. (yeah, matter of perspectives.)
nahh!
it's not the 1/1 i have issues with, it's trust, and that got flushed down the bog when i opened up eyes to the world.
....
won't be a twat and shack up, like my own bed to self, own territory and possessions, and do generally anything without consequence, or prior consultations.
...
this one says NAY, but it's obviously not endemic to the point human society genetic demise. (although, in my mind, that ship already fuckin sail and got torpedoed by the french navy, like a greenpeace carrier in the 80's.)
...
as long as the lines aren't crossed, where society DEMANDS 'you're a couple, or you rape kids. only good peeps are paired' couldn't care any less if tried.
it's up to the person if they want to take a fuckin risk with little, to diminishing returns, not my problem, i'm just living my life without their approvals...and genuinely, wouldn't shed a tear if i never saw overt petting again. (they have no stake, nor i do theirs, EVEN STEVENS/separate paths. i'm keeping what i have to myself, not sharing on blind trust, gotta EARN it first. who am i kidding?! never giving it out.)
[edit]
typo.

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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby ys » Fri Aug 14, 2015 7:13 am

Different people will indeed view this in a different way. And many times those with kids (sometimes) wish they didn't. And vice versa. It's simple, as with all things you get good and bad sides.
I've seen the prostitute argument being mentioned by business men actually. Some said that they didn't have enough spare time for a family so they preferred that kind of clear "business deal". On the other hand, I've seen interviews with male pornstars who do nothing else than long for a normal relationship and got depressed.

I personally am not married, have been a long time with someone and don't have kids. Considering my life it wouldn't really be optimal either to have some. For their sake :P
Sure there is the argument that they're there when you're old. But I've seen statistics (not global) that show that a very large part of the kids aren't really there anyway later on. So you can't count on that 100%.

As for the genes, I don't know. I've also thought about that a while but does it actually matter in a way? I mean, look at for example a guy like Einstein. He lives on because of his work while the general public doesn't know his offspring at all. This goes for lots of others like musicians etc. And eventually the human race dies out anyway. Either by itself after a few million years (average for species), by the death of the Sun which will scorch the Earth, or the inescapable death of the universe aeons away in the future.

Basically, the choice is about what makes you happy this very moment I guess. Or what gives you a purpose right now.

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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby AnimeGamer183 » Fri Aug 14, 2015 7:50 am

I was just thinking about that earlier. Relationships can fuck right off. Maybe later down the line that will be different. Marriage is a government social status and a pretty nasty ordeal that has nothing to do with love or your feelings, fuck that too.
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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby amiga1200 » Fri Aug 14, 2015 8:30 am

AnimeGamer183 wrote:I was just thinking about that earlier. Relationships can fuck right off. Maybe later down the line that will be different. Marriage is a government social status and a pretty nasty ordeal that has nothing to do with love or your feelings, fuck that too.
^^ in bold just sums up my position.
to clarify:
1. i'm better than that.
2, so are they.
3, there's enough biological (anthropomorphic specific) materials, humanity isn't going anywhere soon...unless you count the factors covered in various, non-related subjects regarding society.
4, it's been done before, nothing new under the sun, and the more i look at SOME couples/families, i feel genuine pity for them, as ALL they seem to want, is were where the grass was/IS greener.
...
5, the masses are the G-I, G-O, and that makes it possible for some to bug-out, society allowed itself to be this way, and takes risks dictating to individuals how they should be living the same (slave/hamster wheel mentality) as society is.
peoples can judge, criticize, attack me all they want irl (and sometimes do based on their standards, and mistakes.) and i'll carry on the same way regardless. (and if required, repel borders with extreme prejudice.)
6, you made your beds, now lay in them. don't take it out on me...because of your (shortsighted jump into...) responsibilities means you have MUCH more to lose, than your life, freedom or possessions. (read between the lines.)
7, lucky number SLEVIN! :mrgreen: children in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. thankfully, not that often. :P
[edit]
typo.
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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby ConanTheKing » Fri Aug 14, 2015 8:45 am

amiga1200 wrote:
AnimeGamer183 wrote:I was just thinking about that earlier. Relationships can fuck right off. Maybe later down the line that will be different. Marriage is a government social status and a pretty nasty ordeal that has nothing to do with love or your feelings, fuck that too.
^^ in bold just sums up my position.
to clarify:
1. i'm better than that.
2, so are they.
3, there's enough biological (anthropomorphic specific) materials, humanity isn't going anywhere soon...unless you count the factors covered in various, non-related subjects regarding society.
4, it's been done before, nothing new under the sun, and the more i look at SOME couples/families, i feel genuine pity for them, as ALL they seem to want, is were where the grass was/IS greener.
...
5, the masses are the G-I, G-O, and that makes it possible for some to bug-out, society allowed itself to be this way, and takes risks dictating to individuals how they should be living the same (slave/hamster wheel mentality) as society is.
peoples can judge, criticize, attack me all they want irl (and sometimes do based on their standards, and mistakes.) and i'll carry on the same way regardless. (and if required, repel borders with extreme prejudice.)
6, you made your beds, now lay in them. don't take it out on me...because of your (shortsighted jump into...) responsibilities means you have MUCH more to lose, than your life, freedom or possessions. (read between the lines.)
7, lucky number SLEVIN! :mrgreen: children in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. thankfully, not that often. :P
[edit]
typo.


Why do you edit your typos but not the sentence structure? It's a little disjointed to read at times. Is English your second language?
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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby amiga1200 » Fri Aug 14, 2015 8:49 am

:???: (dunno if genuine, or trolling? going with former, benefit of the doubt...for what fat lot of good that does in general. :???: )
it's because i misspelled stuff.
...
and the style of which it is typed is also, far from the subject.
i trust this answers the query? (sadly, it is my first spoken blasphemy, not relevant.) :mrgreen:
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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby Shibiryo » Fri Aug 14, 2015 8:53 am

amiga1200 wrote:dunno if genuine, or trolling?

He is serious you idiot.
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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby amiga1200 » Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:03 am

^^ can speak for himself. :P
and FYI, it looks ambiguous, as does some of the posts on other subjects from others directed at me, and turned out to be trolling.
(and from where i'm stood with that piece, it's you that's foolish.)
questioning somebody's language and styles, is far from good form. :mrgreen:
[edit]
spooge.
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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby Sonikku » Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:11 am

danny wrote: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?


I guess if all you want from a relationship is sex, there's no point.

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Re: Why bother with monogamous relationships at all?

Postby Monkei » Fri Aug 14, 2015 1:50 pm

Why not have a serious, deep and rewarding relationship that's not monogamous? Might seem tough on an emotional level at first glance, but don't you think it could work, if both partners want it that way? I sadly never was in the position to try something like that, so I can't say anything from experience.

What I can say is that after having spent a large chunk of the past ten or so years in different relationships, I feel like I'm done with that, at least for a while and in that form. I enjoy the freedom of being without a partner. I'm not interested in passing on my genes, raising children or anything that comes with that. The right woman might change my mind about that of course, but for now I'm kinnnnnnd of with danny and AnimeGamer.
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