by MiTT3NZ » Fri Dec 01, 2017 8:54 pm
So we had a few visits this week from studios, publishers, etc (I'm on a game design course), and Nintendo was one of em. Had a fuckin shit ton of lectures to sit through but the positive was that there was a loada new hardware to play about with. Most went for the Vive coz they're young, stupid, and reckon they can produce a VR game for one of their assignments (despite the fact one of the lectures was about how difficult it is to work with VR and AR)
Anyway to cut a long story short that meant the Switch was up for grabs. There's a messy water of making a build for Wii-U and emulating it on Switch so I just did that to free up some time. That meant while everyone was flailing their arms about like a pit of retarded octopodes having a seizure, I was sat on my arse playing on the Switch.
Mario Odyssey was pretty easy to put down and forget about, and the only other two games were that XCOM Mario/blackface-lookin white rabbits one and Xenoblade 2. I remember liking Xenoblade Chronicles before suddenly becoming bored shitless, so I thought "they've probably improved on it considering the feedback", which lead me to playing it pretty much non-stop since Tuesday (I had to justify it by agreeing to write a dissertation on it...)
Whilst I could just copy and paste my notes, they're not very coherent. And guess what that's a fantastic metaphor of? Why this game of course!
Honestly, I never imagined I could ever play anything as dull as Deadly Premonition, yet here we are. An absolute technical cluster fuck with nonsensical plot elements, drab predictable character design, bizarre dialogue, and... well, I could go on, but I really can't stray too far from academic language else it'll take a good few hours to get back into the swing of things for the dissertation.
Mark my words, this is perhaps the worst game released this generation. People wonder why the Japanese game industry is dying and it's coz of shit like this. At least the likes of CoD and AC have consistency to them, but I genuinely can't begin to describe how bad this game is without you playing it first, which I simply cannot recommend.
Put simply, if someone has a gun to your loved one's head and threatened to pull the trigger unless you play it... do yourself a favour and start picking out flowers for the funeral. Oh, and do others a favour too by burning any copy you see.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's worse than Deadly Premonition, and I know a lot of you actually liked it, but my God... just imagine how much I can't stand that game... that is exactly how you'll feel about this fucking avalanche of post-vindaloo diarrhea.